“But I’m Not Good With Kids”

Most of us will agree it’s really important that our churches reach out to children and families. But what if the thought of holding a baby terrifies you (“what if I just … drop it??”) or if, given a choice between leading a Junior Church session and sitting through every one of these Top 100 Bad Movies without a bathroom break, you’d be reaching for the DVD remote every time?crying-baby

The good news is, you don’t have to be good with kids to support children’s ministry in your church.  All ministry is supported by a lot of background work that makes the face-to-face stuff happen. Here’s a Top Ten list to get us started – feel free to add your own in the comments!

  1. Maintain an up-to-date email list of baptism families, and send them information of any activities your church is doing that are friendly for under-5s (Mailchimp can be useful for this – it’s a user-friendly way to send mass mailings, and the free version has everything you need).
  2. Keep an eye out while in charity shops for any toys or puzzles featuring Bible stories, in good condition, and bring them in for your children’s corner (if you have one) or your Junior Church.
  3. Make a knitted Nativity set (Parkinson’s UK has a pattern for £10) or knitted teddies for baptism families, or child-sized vestments for “playing church,” or …
  4. Be responsible for keeping track of volunteers, organising your Junior Church volunteer rota, and reminding them when it’s their week.
  5. Cook for Messy Church, or organise cooking teams for Messy Church.
  6. Help set up and tidy up Junior Church, Messy Church, etc – anyone willing to wield a broom, stack chairs, wash dishes, hoover up sequins …
  7. Distribute leaflets around town for your crib services, Messy Church, All-Age Services, holiday clubs, etc.
  8. Set up a standing order of £10 a month for art supplies, games, etc.
  9. Graphic design skills? Make leaflets and posters for your events.
  10. Be an ally to parents of young children in the service – remind other worshippers that babies and toddlers will sometimes fuss a little and it’s okay, or give an encouraging smile to a parent, or say “you’re doing really well” to a parent wrangling three children under 5, or smile and say “I’m so glad you’re here – it’s great to have the children in church.” Often, parents tell me that this is what made the difference between coming back to church or not!
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New Shared Resource!

We’ve had a few people ask for a centralised resource bank where we can all share lesson plans, worship ideas, story scripts, and so on, that have worked for us.

I’ve created a Google account using the Children’s Mission Enabler email address – you can all log in with it, contribute your own documents, download other people’s, etc. All the resources are FREE, but by contributing your own, you certify that a) this is your work, and b) you’re okay with other churches and groups using it for free.

To log in, go to Google.co.uk, and make sure you’re signed out of any other Google accounts you have. Then log in using:

Email address: cme@stalbans.anglican.org

Password: matthew185 (for Matthew 18:5 “whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”)

So far, I only have three folders – I expect there will be more later on:

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To add your own, double-click on the folder you want to save it in, then either drag and drop files, or use the blue “NEW” button at the top:

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To download a resource, double-click on it. This will open it up in the browser. Then click on the download arrow in the top right. You can also print it directly from the browser using the printer icon next to the download arrow.

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I hope this is useful! Do let me know how you get on – you can reach me on the email listed above.

Harvest Prayer Stations

We had our Harvest Festival at my church last Sunday, and we added a few prayer stations. Some were inspired by Mina Munns’s work on Flame Creative Kids .

This is a congregation that doesn’t get up and move around. So we’ve learned that if we want people to engage with prayer stations, we need to find places where they’re already naturally walking past them in worship. We had:

  1. An All-Age Prayer Station at the entrance to the church. This created a visual focus as people came into the church – something to signal a) a shift from outside towards sacred space, and b) the theme of the service. The rug is one we use in our Under-5s Sunday School and our toddler groups; it’s from Hope Education.

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2. An Under-5s sensory prayer table in our Pray and Play area. There are touch-and-feel books about Creation, a tub full of plastic toy animals, and some bread and fruit to try. (There was a bin discretely present, as well, as toddlers don’t eat neatly.) We used a low table, so they could reach.

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3. An All-Age (in practice, it was mostly 5-to-15s who used it) prayer space near the candle stand. People walk past the candle stand on the way back from communion, and often pause to light a candle. We’ve found people will sometimes engage with another prayer station in this space, at that time. It’s also near where the children sit together for the Liturgy of the Word in our All-Age services, so they used it a lot during that time, when “sitting still for talking” became too much and they needed something to do with their hands to help them engage.

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The tree outlines and the leaf stamps are from Baker Ross.

Slides from Leading Your Church into Growth and BELIEF Bedford

Recently I had the privilege of doing a workshop on Starting Children’s Ministry at the Diocese’s “Leading Your Church Into Growth” conference, and also a lecture on “From Childhood to Maturity” in BELIEF Bedford’s “stages of life/faith” series.

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The slides for both these talks are below.

The LYCiG slide makes reference to a few “rules” when it talks about communication with families. Since I don’t explain those on the slides themselves, here’s a short summary:

The First Date rule: you can find more about that here. Basically, the idea is that after a first contact, like a first date, SOMEONE has to make the call to see if you want to see each other again. With the church/family relationship, that might as well be you! The family might be nervous about approaching the church, or just might keep forgetting to get around to it. Send them an invitation to something – make it as easy as possible for them to come back.

The Debenhams rule: I stole this one from Sandra Millar’s Baptism Matters talk – when you go to a shop and buy something, if you give them their email address, they will keep you on their mailing list until YOU ask to be taken off. They will never say, “oh well, Jane Smith hasn’t been back to Debenhams for two years, guess she’s not interested, let’s take her off our list.” The church, however, often does just this – and when many families say they come to church for Christenings but then won’t come back regularly until their children hit school age, this is really self-defeating.

The nightclub lesson: Another one from Sandra Millar. We who are used to going to church, and feel comfortable there, need to remember how scary it is for people who aren’t familiar with the culture and what happens there. You might feel unsure of yourself going into a betting shop or a hot new nightclub (or maybe not – I don’t judge), so remember those feelings of uncertainty and think how you can help people feel comfortable and like they know what to do when they come to church.

The catch and release rule: This is about the importance of getting contacts at every event where you have families. Your crib service, your Harvest festival, your Messy Church – get the details of families and then add them to mailing lists, inviting them back for whatever events are family-friendly. Invite your Messy Church families to your crib service, invite your Christening families to Messy Church – if someone finds you from one part of your church, grab their contact details and then invite them to everything.

Here are the slides:

LYCiG (Leading Your Church Into Growth)

Belief Talk – from childhood to maturity

The Immigrant’s Creed

Someone sent me this “Immigrant’s Apostles Creed,” by the Revd. Jose Luis Casal.

I couldn’t resist, and wrote my own Nicene Creed version.

Bear in mind that this isn’t an authorised text of the creed – if you’re using it in worship, it should be used to supplement one of the authorised texts (some of which can be sung).

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I believe in God, the Father, the Almighty,

maker of a heaven and earth without borders or nations,

who led his people from slavery to freedom

through exile and exodus,

the God of homelands lost and found,

the God of Temple and desert, of manna and sacrifice.

 

I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,

who was incarnate from the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary,

and was made human, joining us as strangers and exiles on the earth,

teaching us to desire now a better country, that is, a heavenly one,

who was born under occupation and fled from his country’s genocide,

who suffered under the imperial power of Pontius Pilate,

was crucified by the state, dead, and buried.

On the third day he rose again, opening for us the door to new life,

destroying the power of death that denied us our birth-right as citizens of God’s Kingdom.

 

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,

who speaks all languages, lives in all countries, and reunites all races,

who proceeds from the Father and the Son, unity in diversity, three in one.

 

I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic church,

a communion of saints across countries and centuries,

united by the citizenship of baptism,

made equal by our need for repentance and our assurance of God’s mercy.

I look for the coming of the Kingdom of God,

where our passport is love,

our bodies are resurrected and healed,

the image of God in all of us is honoured,

and all nations and tribes and people will be reconciled in the place

where there is no mourning or sadness, no exile or despair,

and we will be no longer strangers or guests

but lambs gathered safely home in the arms of the Good Shepherd.

AMEN.

Harvest Skit

Those of you responsible for sorting out All-Age Harvest services may have felt your heart sink when you saw this year’s readings – bits from Deuteronomy and 2 Corinthians that have little to no context, and no narrative, and some similarly difficult bits from the Gospels – teachings and sayings rather than stories.

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I’ve written a short skit to put the Epistle reading into some context and provide a visual focus. You probably wouldn’t need more than 10 minutes’ rehearsal to make everyone feel confident doing this, and the three participants could be all different ages.

You’ll need a table and a chair, and a piece of paper to be the letter.

WRITING A DIFFICULT LETTER

A skit for Harvest Festival, Year A, based on 2 Corinthians 9:6-15

PAUL is sitting at a desk.

Narrator: Today we join Paul, about 20 years after Jesus has died and risen again. Paul is writing a letter to one of the many churches he has helped to start.

(enter Titus)

Titus: Hello, Paul.

Paul: Ah, Titus – just the person I wanted to see.

Titus: I’m off to Corinth soon – you said you had a letter for the church there that you wanted me to bring?

Paul: Yes. They’ve promised a large gift to help the poorer churches, and all the saints there, and I need you to collect it. I’ve told them you’re coming, and that you hope to collect this gift.

Titus: That’s a difficult letter to get right.

Paul: Yes, nobody likes to be asked for money. They have promised, but I want to make sure they think of it as a gift and not as money I’m demanding from them.

Titus: Why does that matter? As long as the people who need the money get it, isn’t that the point?

Paul: It’s about relationships, though. Sharing what we have with one another is one way of showing our love. God cares about that, and he also cares about what’s in our hearts as well as our actions.

Titus: That’s true. Have you prayed about what to say?

Paul: I have. Can I read this, and ask what you think? Remember, the people in Corinth are very wealthy – they could give a lot, if they wanted – so I’m writing especially for them.

(Paul picks up the letter)

Narrator: A reading from the second letter of Paul to the Corinthians, Chapter 9.

Paul: The point is this: the one who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the one who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under orders, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work. As it is written,

“He scatters abroad, he gives to the poor;

his righteousness endures forever.”

God, who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.

You will be enriched in every way for your great generosity, which will produce thanksgiving to God through us; for the giving of this ministry not only supplies the needs of the saints but also overflows with many thanksgivings to God. Through the testing of this ministry you glorify God by your obedience to the confession of the gospel of Christ and by the generosity of your sharing with them and with all others, while they long for you and pray for you because of the surpassing grace of God that he has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

Narrator: For the wisdom that guides us …

All: We praise you, O Lord.

 

For some more Harvest resources, check out Flame Creative Kids.

Starburst conference handouts and slides

This Saturday, I had the privilege of attending the Starburst conference in the Diocese of Peterborough, and leading workshops on All-Age Worship and Storytelling.

Below are the slides from the workshops, and all the handouts, in case you missed out. (The Worship Clock and the Elements of Worship sheet are missing – I don’t have access to them today, so I’ll post them tomorrow.)

For more on the Beulah Land “fuzzy felt” Bible storytelling, you can visit Mustard Seed Kids (be aware this is my company, so there’s a conflict of interest).

For more on Godly Play, visit Gody Play UK’s website.

Starburst All-Age Worship (presentation slides)

Starburst Storytelling (presentation slides)

Basic Resource List Starburst

Going to Church No Diocesan Branding

Going to Church Older No Diocesan Branding

Helping Kids With Behaviour In Church

Whispering in Church

The Big Story – concepts

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Tools, not toys

childrenThis is a wonderful article on how to use the new craze for “spinners” productively, to help children focus, accept differences, and “fidget productively.”

It’s very applicable to churches – worship, including in Junior Church, often requires periods of sitting still, listening, and so on, which some children find difficult. Providing ways for children to fidget productively – with pew bags or liturgy boxes or physical prayer objects or just good old-fashioned paper and pens – can help children engage more deeply in worship and feel more at home in church.

(Link will open in a new tab.)